Lately, I've been trying to promote my blog so others will gain more knowledge about epilepsy. I'm proud to say that my 12 viewers has turned in 150 viewers. It doesn't seem like much, but I'm not exactly the most famous person out there. Knowing that at least some people are interested means the world to me and hopefully as time continues this small community will grow.
As you know I am currently 19 years old, and at this age I'm thinking about so much. First off I got a job at Spot Coffee last year around late October. Ever since then I've been battling school, work, friends, family, and even a boyfriend who I've been dating since December 2016. Thankfully my father works endlessly so him and I can live a comfortable life, in a great community.
I went to a very good elementary, middle, high school, and therefore received a better education than most. Some might say I was blessed, or just plain lucky to go to these schools. They are right. I was lucky, because while I was learning math and English, others were not. I learned how to write long essays that got a B+ while others were writing paragraphs that got F's.
Although I was living a prosperous life while others weren't; deep down I was struggling in my own way. I was dealing with epilepsy that could not be cured. During my middle school years there were times when I wanted to leave. I wanted to just forget about school, because I was struggling so bad. Before my seizures I was succeeding in math, but once it appeared it felt no matter how hard I tried I wasn't going to get better. My father had faith in me, and he supported me and motivated me to further my education.
In high school, I started hanging out with people who I thought were my friends, but there influenced caused me to disobey my father and not be the good daughter I was deep down. It's sad to think about it to this day, but then Junior year hit. I dropped the toxic people in my life and I started noticing my grades turning into mid-high 90's. Some were 80's but even so, I made honor role which I have never done before.
During my sophomore year, I told an ex best friend that I wanted to be a math teacher when I grow up. She replied, "How could you be a math teacher when you are in non-regents math." I laughed it off but as I looked down at my paper in biology my eyes started to water. Yes, I was in a lower level course, but having a friend shoot you down like that is the worst feeling. Friends are there to support you, but yet she shot me down. This was the year I finally realized I wanted to be an advocate for epilepsy.
Senior year hit and I decided to be a Communications major because I loved to write. Although I wasn't the strongest writer I still enjoyed it. I used to write so much, and with a few years of college I could be the greatest writer in the world.
Well, as I began my first semester at Niagara County Community College, I realized Communications was not my passion in life, so I decided to go for Computer Information Systems. Before the second semester started I changed my major AGAIN! I chose to be a Computer Science major and haven't looked back since. I did chose it because of the money I chose it because it was a challenge. It was something I enjoyed to do in class and outside of class.
Now where does epilepsy play into this? Well it has followed me throughout elementary school to now. Junior year I was told that I would most likely never be able to go off my medication. I cried. It was devastating for me to hear that from my doctor.
That day I decided I wanted to be an advocate and hopefully one day travel the world and give motivational speeches to people with and without epilepsy to share my story. Yet, part of me had self doubt, I was a privileged girl, a privileged town, with a father who cared about me and supported me, I went to amazing schools, and can afford to attend college. It made me think negatively because most motivational speakers had a rough life. Mine, it wasn't rough as others and that's when I wanted to give up. Then I though, I should be blessed every day. Others are in pain while I am living comfortably. I am receiving an education that others can only imagine.
It was then and there that I realized that just because I am living a good life doesn't mean my story isn't worth sharing. I went though rough patches of bullying, going down the wrong path, and in the end I lifted myself up and realized I want to be someone who can make a difference in peoples' lives. I want others with epilepsy to know that complaining is not the solution. Fighting it is!
Yes, I still struggles with epilepsy since elementary school, but I have been seizure free for five years. I should applaud myself for accomplishing this goal while others cannot. I got my license at age 19 while others are in their 30's unable to drive.
Everyone is going through their own struggles. Whether is might be people having high expectations to you to physical and mental abuse. We all are going through something and we should not try to one up someone else so we can receive pity. It might feel good at first to receive that attention from friends, but we should turn our struggles into strength and inspire others who are going through the same struggles we are going through.
About My Blog
I post daily about my life as well as tips on how to deal with epilepsy. I have a youtube channel where I will continue to spread awareness about epilepsy.